


You've Got Mail [+podfic]

by minnabird, minnapods (minnabird)



Series: Twitter prompt fics [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Flirting, Banter, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Podfic Welcome, clerical errors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22003618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minnabird/pseuds/minnabird, https://archiveofourown.org/users/minnabird/pseuds/minnapods
Summary: It starts out simply enough: there’s a clerical mix-up on Naboo. Obi-Wan has had a box in the central post office in Theed since he left the Naboo to rebuild after the Invasion. He had no idea Jango Fett had one too, but someone has gotten something terribly wrong and forwarded Fett’s mail to him.Obi-Wan never expected to meet Jango Fett again, but it's only polite to bring his mail back.
Relationships: Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Twitter prompt fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583860
Comments: 12
Kudos: 230





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted by @RadioAirHyper on Twitter when I put out a call for Star Wars prompts. The prompt was "Jangobi-wan + they got each others mail and need to give it back."
> 
> If for some reason you are reading this and you are not a member of my Phantom Menace AU game group, the basic thing you need to know about the universe this is happening in is that Obi-Wan first met Jango on Naboo during the Invasion, and it's been ten years give or take since then. (If you're curious about the other ridiculous things that happen in this game, I summarize it [in a Twitter moment).](https://twitter.com/i/events/1113614995705815040)
> 
> See second chapter for podfic.

It starts out simply enough: there’s a clerical mix-up on Naboo. Obi-Wan has had a box in the central post office in Theed since he left the Naboo to rebuild after the Invasion. He had no idea Jango Fett had one too, but someone has gotten something terribly wrong and forwarded Fett’s mail to him.

Obi-Wan shudders to think that his own mail might be going to Fett. No, they’re probably both being forwarded on to him. So he does the polite thing.

“What do you mean, this is the only forwarding address on file for him?” Obi-Wan says, after what must be nearly half an hour of back and forth. “No, I don’t know his— My name is very clearly Obi-Wan Kenobi, not Jango Fett. Can you check what the forwarding address is on box 763? No, you don’t, if the address is confidential can you just confirm whether or not box 763’s contents are coming here?” 

The postmaster is gone for several minutes, and gives him a flat negative. “Okay. Well, you’ve probably got the addresses changed around, then. Just switch them back. Okay, then switch 763 back to— Authorization? _I’m_ authorizing you.”

It does not get more productive than that. If Obi-Wan wants his mail, he’s going to have to go to Naboo himself to present identification. He swears the process to open the box was not this stringent, but then again, the Queen had set it up for him.

And if anything went to Jango Fett, he’s going to have to retrieve it himself.

It would be polite to get Fett’s package to him, if the post office won’t take it back and forward it properly. 

Obi-Wan goes to Dex’s.

* * *

It doesn’t occur to him to wonder what’s in the package or why a bounty hunter would be routing his mail through a postal box on Naboo until the kidnapping.

He really ought to be better than this. He has a lightsaber and his wits on his side, after all. Or rather, _had_ a lightsaber. The woman with the jetpack had been quicker than he expected.

Rather unfortunate.

He’s also sporting a knot on the back of his head that throbs with every heartbeat, and he can’t afford the peace of meditation. He’s working on jimmying the binders (cheap, not so effective) open. It’s a very painstaking process involving delicate Force nudges, and he’s not sure he can do it.

He’s starting to make headway when an explosion not very far away shatters his concentration.

There’s a commotion, voices and then thwacks and grunts that suggest a fight. Then a blaster fires, and the noise level rises from there. When everything is quiet again, a few minutes later, Obi-Wan holds his breath to listen for footsteps. There. Only one set, and the feel of the person in the Force is wary but not malicious.

Actually, that Force signature is familiar. Obi-Wan stumbles to his feet just as Jango Fett kicks in the door.

“How kind of you to join me. I’ve been looking for you,” Obi-Wan says dryly. It’s a shame that it’s so hard to read a man in head-to-toe beskar. Fett might be here to kill him as easily as rescue him, but he’ll play the optimist.

“You were supposed to stay on Coruscant,” Fett growls through his helmet.

Obi-Wan blinks at him slowly, not sure if it’s his head wound or if this really is a confusing conversation. “I beg your pardon?”

“You took my _mail_ off Coruscant,” Fett says. He strides across the room and throws Obi-Wan’s arm over his (cold, hard) shoulder. “Jedi do-gooders.” His tone is pure disgust.

“Am I given to understand that this was some sort of plan?” Obi-Wan asks as Jango pushes him down in the co-pilot seat of his ship and starts strapping him in. “I can do that.”

“Tough,” Jango says. He settles into the pilot’s chair and starts warming up the ship. “You’re lucky I came along. They were getting ready to turn you in to Black Sun. Now shut up. I need to concentrate.”

* * *

Fett is uninterested in talking as they settle into the hyperspace journey, until suddenly he is. He pulls off his helmet and turns to look at Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan has to look away for a moment to wrestle his thoughts under control. 

Jedi are not forbidden from appreciating, for example, a stubborn jawline. Or a fine pair of eyes. Still, it’s best not to go thinking that about people who might be about to kill you.

“Thought you’d just ignore the package. Or send it back, maybe. Did you look inside?”

“No,” Obi-Wan said, briefly indignant. “I do not open other people’s mail.”

Fett’s face cracks into a mischievous smile. “Jedi scruples. How sweet.”

Heat prickles up Obi-Wan’s cheeks. It’s very clear he’s holding something back, and there’s only one possibility to Obi-Wan’s mind. “You got my mail? You _opened_ my mail?”

“The Jedi and his secret lover,” Fett says, savoring the words. “I wonder who ‘S’ could be? Two possibilities leap to my mind, of course, from the old days.”

“It’s not what you think,” Obi-Wan says quickly.

“The flirting is not subtle,” Fett says. 

Obi-Wan closes his eyes a moment, begging the Force for equanimity. “It’s a sort of...joke. We do it to keep in practice.” (And that is the story he will tell everyone, up to and including Sabé, if they ever wonder if he feels something deeper. Some things are best kept to oneself). “We’ve been friends, since...since Naboo, but we’re both rather too busy for that sort of thing.”

“Mm.” Fett clearly does not believe him.

Reaching for another subject, Obi-Wan says, “We should go to Naboo and clear this up.”

“The flirting.”

Obi-Wan throws him a glare. “No. The postal boxes.”

“We don’t have time for either of those,” Fett says. “I gotta make a drop. Make yourself useful.”

* * *

Obi-Wan would really prefer not to be useful in whatever mess this is. He is not nearly as handy with a blaster as with a blade, and has twice had to rely on a Force push to throw combatants aside.

He likes the fight to punch through the frigates guarding the planet and into hyperspace even less.

“I really,” he says, as soon as they’re in the flickering tunnel of hyperspace, “ _really_ hate flying.” He turns his head, and is alarmed to see Fett slump in the pilot’s seat.

As soon as he gets Fett laid out on the floor, he sees the problem. Something got past the armor on his leg, and he’s lost a lot of blood. Obi-Wan goes to work, cursing bounty hunters under his breath the whole time. He’s curled against the bulkhead, dozing restlessly, when Fett finally wakes up.

“Didn’t know you cared,” Fett drawls.

“You’re the one who knows how to pilot this ridiculous ship.” Obi-Wan looks Fett over, and is relieved. He’ll recover.

* * *

Fett nudges Obi-Wan awake. “This is your stop.” 

Blearily, Obi-Wan looks at the run-down town outside the viewscreen. “That’s not Coruscant.”

“No, but it is a short hop to Naboo. Talk to Jiili.” 

There’s a warmer amusement than Obi-Wan’s used to in Fett’s eyes, and he remembers again the thoughts he’s been shoving to the back of his brain. His tongue is faster than his self-control. “You could come with me. Sort out the problem with the post office.”

Fett gives him a disbelieving look. “Kenobi. _I made the problem with the post-office._ Remotely. I do not need to go to Naboo to sort out the problem.” 

Oh. Well, then. “Then there’s no need to go to Naboo, is there?” He tries a smile.

Fett just looks at him.

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow. “You’re not in any rush, are you?” 

He doesn’t expect the laugh. “Well, Kenobi, you’re right about one thing. You do need the practice flirting.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Don’t push it.” But the smile remains at the corner of Fett’s mouth, and there’s a challenge in his eyes as he looks at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan has never been a reckless man. But sometimes, he wants to be.


	2. You've Got Mail (Podfic Edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd try my hand at a podfic for this! No, I'm not procrastinating, _you're_ procrastinating.

**Music Used:** "Please Mr. Postman" by the Marvelettes

**File Length:** 09:33

****

**[M4A Link](https://www.mediafire.com/file/onhic526efo1xwu/You%27ve_Got_Mail_Minnabird.m4a/file)** (6.88 MB) | **[MP3 Link](https://www.mediafire.com/file/mw5ay1rvqahq8ng/You%27ve_Got_Mail.mp3/file)** (7.05 MB)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * A [Restricted Work] by [TheLordOfLaMancha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLordOfLaMancha/pseuds/TheLordOfLaMancha) Log in to view. 




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